The printed edition we published this winter is now online and you can find it here:
Random Day of a Business Student
Or: Six Million Ways to Die, Choose One.
by Kashayar Javadi
My iPhone alarm rings. I turn it off.
I always set the alarm on 6 a.m. so I wake up then, but in the end I stay asleep until 7 a.m.. Being awake and then falling asleep again gives me a feeling of a lie-in. In reality it makes me even more tired, because I didn’t have a constant sleep
I force myself to get into the shower. I would pay a million dollars to get just one more hour of sleep. And then this stupid picture comes to my mind.
The little devil on my shoulder telling me that I don’t even need a million dollars to get more sleep. I could just easily go back into my bed.
But of course the unimaginative play in my overstrained head is a duet, consisting of the interplay between the devil and the angel. And the angel is telling me that I should shower. It is telling me that I should work hard to play hard; that there is no gain without pain. And ambitious as I am I finally turn up the cold water.
Each drop hits my skin like a stab from a knife. I deserve it. I should not have stayed up so long watching random videos on the Internet. When I think of all those hours I lost to useless, non-educational and just totally unnecessary videos, I would sometimes like to punch Steve Chen in the face for inventing this time-stealing website called Youtube.
My brain starts to move, although very slowly.
I go through my stuff. What is the Nash equilibrium again? I reread the whole chapter and come to the conclusion that the Nash equilibrium does not tell us anything. It is useless. The theory makes sense. But it is useless. And I ask myself why John Nash received a Nobel Prize for it. Maybe I should release an academic paper where I confute the utility of his theory. Then I will be nominated for the Nobel Prize, too.
I am getting tired again. I know that it is just 9 o’clock. Probably I just need my second coffee.
The library is crowded. I expected to be one of the first students in here.
But people change. They become more and more disciplined. I sometimes forget that. It is not even ten and I can’t find a free study cell. And there he comes, the most annoying person in Maastricht. “Hey man. How you doing buddy? You got one minute for your bro?” I don’t even have time to go to the toilet, I think to myself. I have tutorial in 6 hours and still have to read what feels like 300000 pages. But for some reason I just don’t have the ability to say no to this conversation. So he tells me his stupid story of how awesome the party last weekend was and how he almost got the number of that hot chick. And of course I don’t listen. I just stand there and nap. I watch out for when he laughs, so I know that he made a joke and then I laugh, too. At some point I don’t even really hear him anymore. I keep smiling, but in my head I think of all the stuff I still have to finish.
I finally find a study cell. For the next three hours this muggy centiare is going to be my matrix. The nirvana of concentration. I don’t think of anything but one question: Why does the response function of Py include Px and where do the graphs of those functions intersect? I hesitate. Before I start with my studies I could check out Facebook for a minute. It would not harm me and I have to stay updated. It will really just be for one minute.
Something went wrong. Mark Zuckerberg is going to be the next on my punching list! I obviously can’t concentrate. Maybe a third coffee could help. I go downstairs to the cafeteria, just to realise that I do not have enough credit on my UM-card. No problem! I just have to go to the machine. But of course there are already ten people waiting in line and it feels like it takes each one of them ten minutes to reload their cards. Loosing time hurts.
I’m finally reading. I cannot claim that I know what I am reading, but I am reading. That is at least something. I think I found my flow, and I tell myself “just keep going.”
My concentration starts to abate. Time for my favourite lunch combination: a chicken sandwich and Redbull.
The School of Business and Economics is full of people, and everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere. Sometimes the SBE feels like an international airport, crammed with people searching the right gate – especially in the beginning of a new period, when everyone is looking for their new tutorial rooms.
My tutorial begins. To my own surprise I realise that I am actually well prepared, and I answer two hard learning goals, my personal record for this period. Is it possible that I really understood the stuff? And suddenly I feel this power. Economics actually makes sense! I feel invincible and get the feeling that I am going to ace this exam.
Time for a late lunch.
My late-night session for studying officially begins. The to-do list is long. I only have time until 10. Why does the library close so early anyways? It should be opened 24/7. I begin with revising today’s session. I reread the economics tasks, which I managed to solve so professional during the session. But now I don’t understand anything. It feels like I’ve never attended the session. As if all the information just got deleted from my hard drive. The text could also be Chinese. It would not make a difference, since I don’t understand it at all.
I feel the concentration abandoning me. I start thinking of taking Ritalin.
There are some risks of course. But how do you say? No risk, no fun. In this case no risk, no gain! But I am an educated, intelligent young man. I don’t need drugs to dope me.
I stay with Redbull.
On my way back from the vending machine a beautiful girl greets me. I greet her back and admit to myself that I have absolutely no clue who this person is. Neither do I know her name, nor does her face look familiar. I probably know her from the Inkom. I think I greet about 20 persons per week of whom I have no idea who they really are.
Time to go to bed. I really have to sleep early to night. I cannot be in a lassitude like this tomorrow. Maybe I could watch a few funny videos on my laptop, so I can at least fall asleep with a smile on my face. But really just 5 minutes.
Still awake. Fuck my life.